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Theo's
Kippax, ACT
$1.80
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By baconheist on 11/11/2005
Score: -1.0/10
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OK, so beefsack and I decided to do a pilgrimage to Mama Ria's to get some good old 10/10 savs, because mick hadn't experienced these wonders of fast food. Upon arrival I was shocked to see that there was no such thing as mama ria's anymore - some yuppy 'Theo's' sign had taken it's place. Still, I didn't give up hope - I should have. GODDAM what a terrible sav - made me so friggin angry >_<. How could 'Theo' take away canberra's best sav. I never had a bad sav from mama ria's - in fact i never had a less than perfect sav - this was a friggin battered frank. lest we forget...
(I hate you theo =_=)
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By AwesomeWolf on 19/1/2007
Score: -1.0/10
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I hate to spoil to the only review to score -1, but I feel two angry rants are far clearer than one angry rant. Two angry rants are certainly far more hilarious than a single angry rant.
Now let me set the scene for you. I've just a 4/10 'sav' from Kippax Coffee Lounge and Take Away and then noticed that Kippax Woolworths was quite possibly the biggest Woolworths that has ever burned my eyes. The sight alone of the biggest Woolworths I've ever seen made me physically ill. Plus there's the fact that I just hate Belconnen. Theo's had almost no hope before I even set foot in the door. Closer to the door I noticed they still had Mamma Ria's signs (but were not lit up). And that's when I recalled Baconheist's praise of Mamma Ria's savs and that whoever Theo was should burn in hell along with his savs.
After ordering my sav I made note of the fact that two old chaps were cooking a burger. This made me curious: Are they such bad chefs that it make two of them to cook an edible burger, or are they such fantastic chefs that when they combine their powers they create the greatest burger known to man? I don't know, probably the former, but I will still have to follow up on this.
I was almost fooled into thinking Theo's had provided me with a great sav. For starters it appeared to be quite crispy. And it was crispy enough for my liking. Until I realised that extra bit of batter was in fact the stick. Battered savs are not served on sticks (well, maybe Johnno's do...). Dagwood Dogs are served on sticks. Dagwood Dogs are battered bland franks. Dagwood Dogs are for carnival folk, or 'showies' as they are known to Australians. Is this indisputable evidence that Belconnen is full of showies?
Yes, yes it is.
Well by now I've surely convinced you that Belconnen is a terrible place, and that is full of carnival folk, but I'm trying to rant about a sav here, damnit. Despite my angry rants, I could have given Theo's a 5. That's right, a 5. Now I'm fairly sure they served a battered frank, much like the other Kippax take away, although perhaps a bit tastier than the Kippax Coffee Lounge. To hell with Theo's. I'm not going to give them a decent score. They served me a frank, they're located in Belconnen, and the Mamma Ria's sign they left up makes me long for a good ole' 10/10 sav. **** you Theo, I hate you and your carnival brothers.
Theo, you get -1/10. Not only is the consistency hilarious, and it goes to show that I'm giving bad 'sav' vendors no second chances and zero tolerance for battered franks. The rest of you Belconnen showie folk have been warned...
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